10 hours till my 42nd birthday
2 years since this blog began
1 lifetime since then
Friday, August 7, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Thursday, November 29, 2007
26 days till christmas
29 days till paradise
26 days till christmas
10 the number of years my older son completed today
8 boys bowling to celebrate 10th completed year
4 spares
2 the number of frames bowled by the youngest boy (he had to go early as he missed his nap)
1 strike
that which brings joy is spontaneous and unpredictable
the believe that you are special, special enough to bring out 6 friends on a school night, allows your heart to be gracious
26 days till christmas
10 the number of years my older son completed today
8 boys bowling to celebrate 10th completed year
4 spares
2 the number of frames bowled by the youngest boy (he had to go early as he missed his nap)
1 strike
that which brings joy is spontaneous and unpredictable
the believe that you are special, special enough to bring out 6 friends on a school night, allows your heart to be gracious
Thursday, November 1, 2007
No More Shall I Count
this evening, around midnight--or shall i say tomorrow morning?--begins the cycle of 1 year anniversaries.
one year since deranged-estranged husband burst into house demanding to know where my (non-existent) lover was.
one year since my underwear were stolen--ostensibly to be tested for said lover's dna.
one year since having the locks changed.
one year since being physically threatened and personal property taken by force.
one year since taking the children and hiding out at a friend's house.
one year since the 4 hour phone call between my father and deranged-estranged husband during which the slander campaign against my character began (and continues to this day).
one year since filing a restraining order.
one year since filing for divorce.
one year since the week that redefined my world.
as i enter this anniversary week, i find myself involuntarily reliving those moments.
palpitating heart.
twisted stomach.
instantaneous tears.
anxiety as i hear cars drive by my house in the middle of the night.
waking in the middle of the night just to check on the children.
wishing i still had my noisy dog, jack, to warn me of potential intruders.
i'm done.
i don't want to do this anymore.
i will give myself one more night to grieve.
tomorrow i shall take a bath (during the darkest of days last year i took sometimes three).
drink some sour peach schnapps.
crawl under the covers.
saturday, i shall arise
emerge from my cave of blankets
whole.
one year since deranged-estranged husband burst into house demanding to know where my (non-existent) lover was.
one year since my underwear were stolen--ostensibly to be tested for said lover's dna.
one year since having the locks changed.
one year since being physically threatened and personal property taken by force.
one year since taking the children and hiding out at a friend's house.
one year since the 4 hour phone call between my father and deranged-estranged husband during which the slander campaign against my character began (and continues to this day).
one year since filing a restraining order.
one year since filing for divorce.
one year since the week that redefined my world.
as i enter this anniversary week, i find myself involuntarily reliving those moments.
palpitating heart.
twisted stomach.
instantaneous tears.
anxiety as i hear cars drive by my house in the middle of the night.
waking in the middle of the night just to check on the children.
wishing i still had my noisy dog, jack, to warn me of potential intruders.
i'm done.
i don't want to do this anymore.
i will give myself one more night to grieve.
tomorrow i shall take a bath (during the darkest of days last year i took sometimes three).
drink some sour peach schnapps.
crawl under the covers.
saturday, i shall arise
emerge from my cave of blankets
whole.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
27 days 'til halloween
the vine on which this pumpkin grows showed up on the side of my house early this summer.
rather than pull it out--competition for my newly planted peonies--i decided to let it grow.
after countless unfertilized blossoms came and went i first saw this pumpkin on late summer's day in august.
i've been feeding it water for the few weeks and it has grown plump.
when the boys return from their international free for all, we will harvest and carve it.
Monday, July 23, 2007
16 days til my 40th bday
31 days since my divorce was final
17 days til i see my boys again
16 days til my 40th bday
16 days til i start my new job
2 days since i turned on the tv
the silence of freedom can be deafening
17 days til i see my boys again
16 days til my 40th bday
16 days til i start my new job
2 days since i turned on the tv
the silence of freedom can be deafening
Thursday, March 1, 2007
160 Days
160 days 'till my 40th bday
112 days since i filed for divorce
5 days since launch of latest offensive by offensive not-soon-enough-to-be-ex-husband
4 days spent crying
the inside of my eyelids feel like sandpaper
112 days since i filed for divorce
5 days since launch of latest offensive by offensive not-soon-enough-to-be-ex-husband
4 days spent crying
the inside of my eyelids feel like sandpaper
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