27 days 'til halloween

the vine on which this pumpkin grows showed up on the side of my house early this summer.

rather than pull it out--competition for my newly planted peonies--i decided to let it grow.

after countless unfertilized blossoms came and went i first saw this pumpkin on late summer's day in august.

i've been feeding it water for the few weeks and it has grown plump.

when the boys return from their international free for all, we will harvest and carve it.

16 days til my 40th bday

31 days since my divorce was final

17 days til i see my boys again

16 days til my 40th bday

16 days til i start my new job

2 days since i turned on the tv

the silence of freedom can be deafening

160 Days

160 days 'till my 40th bday

112 days since i filed for divorce

5 days since launch of latest offensive by offensive not-soon-enough-to-be-ex-husband

4 days spent crying

the inside of my eyelids feel like sandpaper

170 Days

$41,856 salary paid by school district to new hire--with masters degree--with six years of prior service
$31,392 prior number prorated to 75%

$36,336 salary currently received by school district during seventh year of service--with masters degree
$27,252 prior number prorated to 75%

$17,170 2007 federal poverty guideline for 48 contiguous states for family of 3

$5,520 difference between new hire salary and current salary
$4,140 prior number prorated to 75%

170 days 'till my 40th bday

75% FTE my school district contract

my $4,140 anger has been squelched by a profound $17,170 sadness

177 Days

177 day 'till my 40th bday

95 days since i filed for divorce

67 daffodils emerging in front garden

37 days 'till vernal equinox

24 hours 'till next predicted snowfall

hope grows slowly, almost imperceptibly, like the length of day as spring approaches

183 Days

183 days 'till my 40th bday

40 minutes of exquisite napping in my friend's new recliner

25 days since her 40th bday after which she gave herself permission to buy said recliner

4 the number of little boys unsuccessfully being quiet so as not to disturb nap

1 ounce of liquid vitamins full of B-12 and other good things to stave off depression

love is measurable, but the units are unpredictable

185 Days

185 days 'till my 40th bday

6 days 'till impending deadline

5 number of times rescue inhalor used today

4 number of career building opportunities missed in last 2 weeks

3 number of girl friends that have moved away

2 number of hours spent creating "favorites" play list

1 number of movies seen in last 5 (or is it 6?) months